Thursday, 14 October 2010

Dear Jonathan (Part II)

Married with FIVE children? Are you joking? How old are you, a year older than me? I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like had I stayed in the truth, and I shudder. I would have been a completely different person of course, with a different catalogue of experiences, so it is perhaps an unfair question, but I don’t know if I’d be happy. I think I am being true to myself now, and I can’t imagine being a father, especially not to FIVE children! How do you cope? How old are they all? What are their names?

Congratulations on your baptism. I’m happy that you have found something real in your faith and taken that step. Did something happen that made Jehovah real to you, or was it just a question of time and conviction? My sister once told me a story of how a problem in her life, and its subsequent resolution, made Jehovah real to her, and she has never looked back, so I can completely understand how that can be the case.

You must lead a busy life, being father to – I have a lump in my throat – FIVE children, at the age of 29, working full-time to support them and reserving enough energy to be a father to them all individually and as a collective, and be a husband and baptised brother. I admire you greatly, particularly as you say you are happy. I would, if I was in your shoes, be too tired to be happy!

Again, it means a lot to know that you are praying for me. I still see myself as being one of God’s children. I feel that I have been given a role that only I can fulfil, and that role lies outside the organisation of Jehovah’s Witnesses, at least for now. I have no idea what the future holds, but perhaps my knowledge and experience, having known the world from within and without the organisation, will one day come to some use. That is all any artist or writer would want – for their toil to have a lasting impact, and their suffering to have been for some good. So, you don’t need to worry about this little sheep being away from the fold; I’m quite safe here, and I’m sure we’ll see each other again.

Kindest regards,

Paul

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